When Jojo arrived at Bench Mark Program, he was trying to turn his life around. He needed encouragement and someone to hold him accountable, then he met Bench Mark Program team member, Tyson. Tyson committed every morning to driving Jojo to school so he would have the motivation to graduate. Shortly before Jojo’s graduation, he wrote a powerful story about his life and moving forward from the trauma he experienced. We are so thankful for mentors like Tyson and students like Jojo that make a commitment to change and inspire many along the way.

Trauma

It all began when I started being around the wrong crowd. We lived a life like a movie, going out partying and having fun doing the wrong things. I started smoking weed at a young age. Later on weed was not doing it so I moved on to something else that got me more high, pills. They were like an escape from feeling alone in a world full of people. It was a distraction for me from certain things I was going through at home. Nothing was ever easy, we did not have it all.

Things were rough at home. There wasn’t any food almost everyday. I had to find a way to survive. My mom was always bitchin, saying I’m going down the wrong path. She told me I wouldn’t graduate and that I’m going to be a bum. All she saw was how I was like my pops and how I would end up in jail too. Her new boyfriend was being stingy with everything I did and it even got to a point where I was going to fuck him up. Even if there was food they would keep it to themselves.

I chose to be in the streets because it was a way for me to get away from the toxic home. I had no one to rely on so my friends became my family. They showed me the ropes of the streets and how to get money. I started trappin so I could provide for myself so I could eat and put nicer clothes on my back. It was still hard, but I had to stay positive. I started to use my mom's toxic traits to motivate me and keep a smile on my face.

Eventually, I met this girl and I started to stay with her because I didn’t want to go home. She ended up being my girlfriend and a few months later we were on the phone and she started to get the feeling that she may be pregnant. Her test came back positive and didn’t know what to do. I was stuck. I didn't think I was ready to be a dad, but I wasn’t going to stand down. She started to talk about herself and future and how this would mess everything up so after a long conversation we came to the conclusion that we weren’t ready. I would have wanted to be financially stable and be able to give my child anything they wanted and not have them grow up the way I did.

I started popping pills more often while I was with my girl, but I started to become another person towards people, I wasn’t myself. She kept telling me to stop doing them but I didn’t listen. For a month I was clean but went back to it. I was on the phone with my girl and was at my moms house. I popped some pills and I was passing out the last words I remember telling her were “tell my mom I love her”. I ended up going to my moms boyfriend because he was the closest for a ride and he took me to the hospital and on the way to the hospital I was falling asleep in the backseat when I got to the hospital they said they can’t help me and I had to go another side then they put me on the hospital bed and as soon as I touched the bed I died, but they used Narcan three times to revive me. I was dead for 10 minutes before the Narcan finally worked. I was alive again.

After everything happened I started to look at life differently and not take it for granted. I stopped taking pills and started to do more productive stuff. I still smoked weed but it was not like I did before. I started to be more positive with myself and with other people. I started to surround myself around a better crowd especially when I started to come to Bench Mark Program. I started to come to school more and started to work on my grades now I have motivation to graduate.

However, I hit another obstacle and I lost a close friend. He was family to me. He taught me stuff I never knew before. He taught me how to move smart and always watch out for everything. It hit hard because he was a part of the family I made outside of home. I feel like his death brought all of us closer than we were before. I was willing to risk it all for him but I was not there.

A couple months later after the passing it wasn’t the same but I had to move on. I started to do better I got a job at Bench Mark Program. I’m closer to graduating and need a little work but I’m going to get there. Now it’s up to me to make everything that I want happen and to stay positive through it all. I won’t let the past define My future.

Sincerely,

JoJo